Well I’m doing rubbish at keeping the blog up to date! Let’s just acknowledge it and move on rather than me launch into the reasons/excuses, shall we?
Since I last wrote I’ve run much more, managed to buy clothes from the ‘regular sized’ section of the store rather than the fat-shaming section, and even worn clothes that don’t have an X in the size!
And the TV series Britain’s Fat Fight featuring the Newcastle Can project has aired – for a few Wednesday nights my phone was buzzing as people spotted me in my blink and you’ll miss me screen appearances. I’m not sure how well it was received outside of Newcastle, but it’s really got people talking about their health and weight again here.
And that’s brilliant, mostly.
But I have had a handful of comments which, as I’m in a positive frame of mind at the moment, I’m choosing to file under “Not quite as supportive as they’d intended to be”, although next time the depression and anxiety kicks in they’ll probably be upgraded to “Things to worry about incessantly when I can’t sleep.” I imagine other new and/or obese runners will have heard similar, those comments where you wonder whether to take offence or not.
- “10k. Will you be running it? Really? All the way?”
- “Well it’s nice you got a place, but I think it’s a shame for the proper runners who miss out on places.”
- “You’ve dropped another dress size? I suppose it goes to show that you can eat whatever you want and lose weight so long as you exercise.”
- “The Great North Run’s a brilliant experience, even though you’ll have to walk, and don’t worry about being near the back.”
- And so on…
My partner and I forgetting parkrun isn’t a race!
Recurring themes in these comments are:
Surprise. Starting with surprise that I can run at all, followed by surprise at how far I can run, then surprise at the speed I do it in. I’m not offended by that – I know I don’t look how most people image a runner – although I’m definitely far leaner than I was. The surprised people are usually then impressed and interested.
Failure to take me seriously. Comments implying I’m “not a proper runner”. Which of course begs the question “What am I doing that’s improper?” 😂
I’m not offended by these comments either – it’s taken me a long time to get my head around the idea that I am a runner, even after several months running regularly and knowing the running community is made up of people of all shapes, sizes and speeds. If I struggle to believe it myself why would I be offended that other people think the same?
Ringing the PB bell the only time to date that I got sub 30.
Implying I’m not trying hard enough. The “eating whatever you like” comments. I’m not offended by this, in fact I think it’s mostly my own fault. I have made dramatic changes to what I eat, but I haven’t banged on about as it half as much as I have about the running. And there are photos of me running all over the place, no photos of me refusing snacks or chopping vegetables! But for the record I’m not eating whatever I want…
I didn’t want to go on “a diet”, because to me that implies prohibiting things and is a temporary change. If I prohibit things I’ll just crave them more. If I just revert to my old eating habits when I reach a healthy weight I’ll just pile the weight back on.
So I aimed to make small, incremental changes to how I eat that mounted up to a big positive difference – and I’ve succeeded, or just about. Stress eating is still a problem.
Food changes I’ve made and (mostly) kept to:
- No unhealthy snacks at work (except for a couple of really stressful weeks)
- Healthy snacks ready and available – fruit in the bowl, chopped veg in the fridge, etc.
- Have a drink rather than eating when first feeling like I need a snack.
- Smaller portions
- Fewer treats – e.g. one piece of cake a week, usually after parkrun (except for special occasions!)
- No treats in the house – if I really want ice cream I have to go out and get it, if I really fancy a biscuit I have to bake them.
- More cooking from scratch/less processed foods
- More fruit and veg/less meat and dairy
- More awareness of what’s in food – labels, protein/carbs/fats etc.
- More awareness of when I need food – am I running later, will I be stuck at my desk for hours, etc.
All that mounts up to significant changes. Yes, I could restrict my calorie intake more, but I’m doing OK as I am, and the results show.
Im now far enough into my fitness journey not to wobble when someone says something thoughtless, so at the moment I’m not offended by any of those comments. And if I do start worrying about them in future I’m going to shift my focus, because the comments above are a tiny minority. Instead I’ll remind myself of the multitude of positive comments like…
- “You’re doing so well.”
- “Guess what I did? You inspired me. I’ve signed up to couch 25K.”
- “You’re definitely getting faster.”
- “Will you be doing *insert name of difficult race*?”
- “See you at parkrun…”
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This year I’m dedicating all my running to two charities that have made a massive difference in my life. If you can spare a £ or two please sponsor me.