I’ve had a bad day. One where everything went wrong and I just felt I shouldn’t exist at all.
I managed no unhealthy snacks at work, but once I got in I ate chocolate. And more chocolate.
I put the chocolate away, then got it out again and ate more chocolate.
I went to make tea, and before I started I ate more chocolate.
I don’t even know why I was eating the chocolate. I wasn’t hungry. Was it a distraction? A craving? Self harm?
I’ve been trying to break the link between stress and food, but it’s strong. It keeps snapping back into place.
I’d like to stay I took hold of myself and stopped myself eating the chocolate. But in reality I ate it until I felt sick, until I couldn’t eat any more.
And then I cooked tea. I made fried rice. I concentrated on finely chopping the vegetables. I tried to forget everything.
It showed me I can turn a bad day around. I can find a little victory. I stopped eating the chocolate, I didn’t order a takeaway, I made a healthy meal for my family.